The Pain is alot

I spend the night last night sitting and reading my fathers memorial and burial service program. At the back of the program there is a little passage written as though it was he himself reading it. In short it just says that God has called him by his name to be with Him, and it continues to say that when the sun rises your hearts will be looking for me but will not find me. For me every time I read that text am filed with nothing but hurt and tears. I cried wiped my tears and than cried some more. I think last night for me was one of those days where reality hit again I realized that for the next rest of my life my father is not going to be around. I mean he is never going to see me graduate to start of with, than he is never gonna interrogate the man I will say I do to one day, nor is he gonna give me away at my wedding. Than he is also never gonna have the opportunity to hold his grandchildren or even name them. For me this is a very bitter tablet to take in, but there is nothing as comforting as knowing that I  SERVE a LIVING GOD and HE has never left my side not for one bit. I mean I thought my Matrix farewell was going to be terrible but hey He saw me through it and I had an awesome night and I looked awesome :-).. I praise God for what ever comes my way I know He has got my back all the way Psalm 124......